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Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Deer Camp
The guys were all at a deer camp
No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns..
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.They said, "Man, what happened to you?"He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night...
Bob sat up and watched me all night."
Cajun Religion
DA END BE NEAR!!
Reverend Brasseaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church andPastor Larousse was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that read:
"Da End is Near.
Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now
Afore It Be Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, 'You damn religious nuts!'
From the curve they heard screeching tires, a big splash and then silence....
Brasseaux turns to Larousse and asks,
'Do ya tink maybe da sign should jussay.....
'Bridge Out?'
Reverend Brasseaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church andPastor Larousse was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that read:
"Da End is Near.
Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now
Afore It Be Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, 'You damn religious nuts!'
From the curve they heard screeching tires, a big splash and then silence....
Brasseaux turns to Larousse and asks,
'Do ya tink maybe da sign should jussay.....
'Bridge Out?'
This is so cruel....
"Morning Sex"
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our
usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast,
wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept
in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me
and said softly," You've got to make love to me
this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still
dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her
and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen
table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to
the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was
that all about?"
She explained, "The minute egg timer's broken."
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our
usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast,
wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept
in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me
and said softly," You've got to make love to me
this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still
dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her
and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen
table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to
the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was
that all about?"
She explained, "The minute egg timer's broken."
The Freshmen in Medical School
LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."
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