Benjamin Venuto Blogs

Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Tweeter Page of Stefan Magdalinski

Stefan Magdalinski's page at Multiply disappeared so here is his tweeter page for those who have Tweeter accounts.

http://twitter.com/smagdal

Friday, August 10, 2012

What the news does not tell you.....

Yes, we are in the middle of a great flood again, and images like this may be familiar to you.

Sí, por la enisima vez, estamos en medio de un gran inundacion e imagenes como esto sera familiar a ustedes.

The following images may be shocking to some, but they occur during every flood here in the Philippines.

Las imágenes que siguen te van a asustar, pero estas cosas ocurren en todos los inundaciones aquí en las Filipinas.

in a coffin /// en un ataúd

rescuers taking a break /// equipos de rescate que toman un descanso

Internet cafe

Y Tomando ////// AND Drinking

And the tourists have started to join in /// y las turistas empiezan a desfrutar !!!!

My 400 Year-Old Alma Mater under water /// Mi Alma Mater de 400 años de antigüedad inundado

Todas las Imágenes que Aporto

no son míos

y Fueron Tomadas de la Red

Incluyendo Estos Besotes

Para Ti

Todas as Imagens que eu Compartilho
não são minhas
Foram tomadas a partir da web
Incluindo esses Beijos
Para Você

Toutes ces photos que je publie

ne sont pas miennes

elles fûrent prises sur Internet,

y compris ce baiser...

pour toi !

Tutte queste foto che pubblicano
non il mio
Sono stati presi su Internet,
compreso il bacio ...
per voi!

Friday, August 3, 2012

My travel Plans

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone else.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. How great is that?

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to friends, family and work. No luggage needed.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. I was alone a lot there.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the
year. You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person.

My job is done!!!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

And from one unstable person to another, I hope everyone in your head is happy – we are all doing well in mine. ;0)

Monday, July 30, 2012

Catholic Vocabulary

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. Created by boiling the HELL out of it.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas :

There are more churches in Las Vegas than casinos. During Sunday services at the offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as opposed to cash.. Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, and they are worth money, the Catholic churches are required to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning chips into cash. And he, of course, is known as The Chip Monk.

Never make a woman angry

Never Make a Woman Angry!



A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint
Peter to
greet her, she peeked through the gates and saw a beautiful banquet table.

Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved
and
who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her,
"Hello. How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him,
"This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into
Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman
and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
"I
married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.
And
then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I
lived in
and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the
world. We
were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit
my
head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to
pay!


NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the
supposed
lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).

Now you've learned a new word.